Saturday, 29 May 2010

Letting Go

Hey and thanks for taking the time to come and visit my site. Today I want to talk about releasing, letting, freeing ourselves from things that on a subconscious level may be holding us back or self sabotaging.

The reason that this is at the for front of my mind recently is because I have recently or well for a while now had problematic relationships with women and for a long time thought it was me picking the wrong women or the women I met were strange in some way or they changed when they began dating me. There was hundreds of reasons I came up up as to what the problem was and why all the wrong women were drawn to me!

However only recently say a couple of months ago did i realize that it was in-fact myself, my mind and my actions that were actually seeking out these women who, had confidence issues, self worth issues, and negative subconscious feelings towards men! And this is probably because I could relate to them because i had the same issues to. The same childhood trauma or incidents and subconsciously I was seeking these women out because we could relate. Unfortunately thats all we seemed to have in common!

There was one relationship in particular that really left me high and dry and very hard to bounce back from. I was round 17-18 when I was seeing this girl and within weeks fell madly in love with her. I began to jump through hoops to keep her happy as I thought that if I didn't then she would leave me. So the cycle began driving her to and from places. Taking her shopping, doing things that I particularly didn't want to do but knew would keep her happy. Spend more time with her and less with my friends and family. All the while trying to keep her happy and making myself more and more miserable.

This was in the main my fault and not hers and now I realize this I can begin to let go!

One thing I have realized over these past few years is that if you spend your time trying to please everyone and not your self, you will not have enough time to please enough people and still be left unhappy and unfulfilled.

I have now began making sure that what ever I do is what I want to do and is good for me. Now if you read this and think I have become selfish, let me explain.

If you decide on the things you what to do in your life and the goals you want to achieve and then you set your sites on these and go and achieve them, then there is no way that you will feel unhappy or unfulfilled. As a by product of this you will become a better person, more grateful of the success you have & most importantly you will be an example of how to be treated and how to treat others.

This comes from learning to treat yourself with respect, loving your self and being thankful of the person you have become or are aiming to become.

Strangely enough I only today received a txt from this ex of mine saying she wished she had treated me better and she's sorry for all that happened and she only wished we could be friends again. but this time instead of ignoring the txt or sending and short rude txt back i replied with " Hey, glad all is well, don't worry your self with what has happened or feel guilty, it was a difficult time for both of us and we both delt with things differently, I'm glad you have done well with your degree and I wish you all the best"

I cannot explain the relief that I feel all that locked up, hate, and regret and animosity towards her has just floated away and I feel someone more centered, understanding about what I want from a relationship and weirdly more confident about saying what I feel!

Now feeling this I had to fire up my laptop and let you all know, this realization i have had, so that you can go and apply it your life and get rid of the unwanted trapped feeling we carry around with us subconsciously.

my next post will be centered around fear and how to use it to get where we wanted to get and stop it from holding us back.

Remember

"Life Is What You Make It"

Darren



Monday, 17 May 2010

Let's go To McDonalds!

Hey hope everyone's well.

Today I want to speak mainly to the kids and teenagers that read my blog and really explain as simply as possible why thinking and acting in the NEO way, can and will get you to where you want to go!

There are many times in our lives when we blame, or feel that other people are getting in the way of what we want.

I remember when I was on the football team, I had this dream to be a centre mid-fielder like Paul Schoals. I would watch him play and wished I could be as good as him.

Well I had the right start, I was visualizing my goal, but when I went to football practice I just settled for being put in left back defense as I was the only person on the team that could use both feet as everyone else was right footed.

After a while I realized that if i used my right foot a could fool the other team because they thought I was left footed and i could dribble past people, and get further up the pitch.

After a while of doing this I became very good, and practiced so that my left foot was as good as my right, this brought me to the attention of my coach who moved me to the left wing and nearer to my dream position. When i was in this position of left wing I learnt how to control the ball more, how to pass it better and learnt how other players played so i could pass it to them without looking.

All this time I had my dream in my mind all the time of being centre midfield, and then my moment came. My team mate was injured and I was put into centre midfield, that game we won 4-0 and i set up every goal. I played that well that the coach made that my new position.

I had achieved my Dream!!

So what has this got to do with McDonalds???

Ok, well when you have a dream or a goal you want to achieve you need to follow 3 simple steps to achieve it like you would when you order at McDonalds.

1) Place your order - This means deciding your dream, get a clear picture of your dream, write it down. " I choose to have" or " I choose to be".

2) Pay the price - Now this doesn't just mean pay with money. This means, put in the practice, like with my football i put in the time to practice. If you want to be a chief you need to practice cooking or if you want to be a singer you need to practice and work on your singing.

3) Believe you will get it - When you order at McDonalds, you know that the person behind the till is going to get what you ordered. So this means you have to be the person behind the till getting your order. This means believe you can do it, believe you will get there, believe you can do it and most importantly believe you deserve it.

Monday, 10 May 2010

Thank You!

Hey hope you are all well,

Let post we talked about starting to design the life we choose.

Today I am going to back that up with a little thing we know as gratitude.

There is a great saying that goes "Energy Flows Where Attention Goes". And this is a key principle to understanding and learning how to change your life.

It's now a known fact among neuro scientists that, what your thoughts are focused on you attract more of into your life so as I discussed in my video, if you are always thinking why me, why cant i do thins or why's does everything go wrong? Your Brain will focus on why everything goes wrong and will only show you the dark side of your life.
How ever if your were to change your thinking to Neo thinking and ask the question how can i improve my current situation? Your subconscious mind goes to work on how to improve your life.

Can you see that simply changing your thoughts and outlook of just everyday events you can begin almost instantly to start attracting your new life!!

So today we will begin looking at GRATITUDE!

Every Morning when I wake up i try to run through a list of the things i am grateful for in my life, such as, my health, my loving family my great friends, my band, my ability to DJ, the ability to see, hear touch, smell. The fantastic view from my apartment ect. I do this because and i go back to the phrase "Energy Flows Where Attention goes" and if my attention is on the things that i have and am grateful for then inevitably I will attract more of these things in to my life.

Ok so a little exercise for you, grab a piece of paper and write down every and anything you can think of that you are grateful for. This can be from your health, family car, cats, clothes, friends, gardens, food, freedom, the list is endless. Aim to have 15 things you are really grateful for.

Now every morning when your wake up make it a habit to grab this from you bedside table and read it aloud as you get ready, this will put your mind into a grateful and attractive state for the day ahead!

Well thats all for this post

let me know how you get on with the exercise.

and remember life is what you make it!

Darren

Thursday, 6 May 2010

"Today's Dream Is Tomorrows Reality"

Hey,

Hope everyone is well!

Today I wanted to discuss, your future and how to start designing the life you want.

90% of people if asked them what do you want from life, would and do find it hard to answer. Whenever I ask people, " So what do you want from you life?" most often people reply with "I don't know?" or " Urrrm well just more" or my personal favorite, " Well I'll tell you what I don't want"

By not having a clear, picture or idea in your mind of what you want for the future, how can you go out and achieve that?

You can't!

The first step in obtaining the life you want, is to first of all find out WHAT YOU WANT!

If nothing is coming straight to the top of your head, ask your self this question. What excites me? What do i really love doing? It may be music, helping people, racing, creating designs, sports, accounting anythings possible, but just ask yourself what excites me?

If your still not 100% ask your self this, if I only had 1 year left to live what are the 3 things that i would do to A) Earn money, B) enjoy C) benefit others? Now when I say benefit others this doesn't just mean caring for the sick or elderly although if thats what excites you, thats what you should do! I can be providing people with great quality food, or secretarial service or baking the most delicious cakes.

So now you should have a pretty clear idea of what you want to do with your future. If not go back and ask your self the 3 questions from above again and calmly think about them let the questions float around in your mind!

What i want you to do now is very simple. I want you to grab a piece of paper and write down at the top the paper. I have chosen, that my future shall be........... and write down the future you have chosen to live.

Congratulations you have just taken the first step to the rest of your life you have just done what 97% of people never do, you have TAKEN ACTION to bettering your future.

on the rest of the paper I want you to describe in detail how great your future is going to be, you may have chosen to become a entrepreneur in which case describe how great being self employed is going to be and how great your company is going to be and how you going to build a great company to work for. Or your may have chosen to become a social worker, so explain how you are going to change and help the lives of the people you meet, explain in full details how you intend to change peoples lives for the better. You may have decided you want to be a TV presenter in which case describe to the last letter how you will be great to watch, and how you will revolutionize the TV presenter role.

This is your chance to go crazy, think as big as you could ever think and then times it by 100!

In the next post we will be looking at why this exercise aids your mind in making your dreams reality and we will also look into goal setting!

Remember " The sky is not the limit, because there is no limit"

So dream big

Darren

Monday, 3 May 2010

"Life Is What You Make It"

Hi,

Welcome to The Neo Thinker.

My Name is Darren and over the past few years i have been learning and developing a new (Neo) way of thinking!

Napoleon Hill once said " If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got". and this i have found to be very true!

Over the past few years i have taken myself from an unemployed, depressed, hopeless, fearful and well near suicidal man to the man i am today.

But hears the great news, the lessons and techniques i have learnt and used can be used by you too, in fact anyone can use these teachings and techniques to create the life they want!

Just over 3 years ago I was unemployed, living in what could only be described as a building site of a home, with no hot water and barely enough money to survive on. Now i live in a lovely apartment in the Cheshire country side, have a new car and I am beginning to set up my own company, even now as i write this i am still amazed in the major change in my life! I'm not telling you this to blow my own trumpet but to show you that anyone can do this, there's nothing different about me from you. I was born and raised in a small town in north cheshire, i went to a public school, did ok in my exams. Went to college, which didn't work out, got involved with some bad crowds. What i'm trying to show it that i have lead a life which has had several bad decisions made by me and several wrong turns also, but this doesn't mean you cannot change your life RIGHT NOW and redesign the life you want!

And now i feel it time to tell you how to create the life "YOU CHOOSE".

This journey you are about to take will, totally change the way you think about life, view your life and the world around you and will also help you to take the steps necessary to change your future to the future you have always wanted!

Click here to take the first step & watch a video where I explain more.....